Today, I Choose Joy

This morning I woke up to a song on the radio taken from Psalm 118:24.  I don't know which song it was, in fact all I remember is that it was one I hadn't heard before, and grumbling and cranky, I rolled back over and tried to go to sleep.  When I finally did get up, I turned Pandora on and here comes another song about Psalm 118:24.  Even through my groggy sleepy state, I got the hint from God, and despite having had a really rough week, I silently committed to choose joy today.

Within in 5 minutes I had an issue from a person in my life that just makes me want to scream (we all have one or two of these people... some more present in our lives than others), and I chose joy. It wasn't the smoothest morning in our house, but I chose joy.  The weather was nasty, after a week of summer, we had rain, snow and dreary skies, but I chose joy.  Of course, I was silently asking God to give me the joy, as I certainly wasn't capable of being joyful on my own, and He was faithful to provide it.

At last, it was the most dreaded time of the morning in our house... time to pack lunches, and I chose joy (which is why there was a noticeable difference with my kids and their attitudes). I dutifully began packing their lunches, and as I reached into the fridge for a yogurt, I realized something wasn't right.  The yogurt was room temperature.  The fridge had gone out!  I started to panic.

What do I do?  How long ago was it?  Is everything spoiled? I don't have time for this, I'm supposed to volunteer in my daughter's class and I have a long awaited lunch date with a friend... whatever am I going to do? 

In that moment, as I was running down my list of worries and excuses, there was a quiet whisper in the back of my mind, "psst... remember... choose joy".  I almost rolled my eyes.  "Are you serious? Choose joy?" I nearly protested... after all I had just stocked up on groceries.   Last night we just bought a brand new gallon of milk.  Seriously?!?! Choosing joy was the last thing on my to-do list in that moment.  And yet, I couldn't avoid it.  The moment I surrendered to joy, everything became clear.  I was able to rearrange my schedule so after dropping the kids of at school I could come home and cook up all the meat in the freezer that was still partially frozen.  I started to see what a blessing the timing of this really was:

• It was my day off... had this happened two days ago, it would have caused a nightmare, but today things weren't so bad.
• It's a holiday weekend so I have plenty of time to organize my new shopping list
• My kids won't be home tonight so there's no hurry to get it figured out before school pick-up
• The big garbage can is empty (the idea of rotten food sitting around my house or the alternative of making a run to the dump over something like this were both terrible ideas - so this realization was huge)
• We have a fridge in the garage so no need to run out and buy a new one
• Financially we have the means to replace what we lost - even if it meant we cut something else out in the budget* 
• We're moving in 6 weeks - I was already planning to try to put everything in our freezer to use in the next few weeks (which means that now we don't have to eat the nasty trout from last year's fishing derby, nor do I feel guilty for throwing it away)

So... I set to work - throwing everything in the fridge (well except for the apples) out, and most of the "sides" in the freezer.  Fortunately very little of the meat had thawed. Well, except for the 2 pounds of bacon we had, but it was still cold so tomorrow morning, my husband may have the best breakfast he's ever had... bacon, bacon and more bacon.  All in all - things weren't looking so bad.  But I'm convinced it wasn't the circumstances that weren't so bad, it was the joy I'd "chosen" (okay, in this case, maybe I was coerced into choosing) that improve the way I approached it.

Only then did a random thought occur to me.  I have been planning to pay off a big medical bill this week...and just like "that" it hit me, maybe they'd negotiate down the bill... so I prayed and then called.  And sure enough, they did.  The amount they reduced my bill by more than covered the cost of replacing the food we lost.

God could have "swooped down from Heaven" and taken care of all this.  If He can give Moses the power to part a stinkin' sea... He surely has the power to have wiped away that medical bill, or keep our fridge from going out.  but instead, He chose to a) meet our needs and b) make it evident that He was meeting our needs.  I know I'm guilty of expecting Him to just miraculously make difficult situations disappear, but today, I am reminded that if He were to do that, we'd miss out on the opportunity to see just how much He cares about the most minute details of our lives.  We wouldn't be able to fully understand his glory or the meaning of Ephesians 3:20.

So as our family is in the midst of a major season of trusting Him and walking by faith - today, I have had the honor of witnessing just what my loving God has been promising me all along "I've got this, I've got it all covered, just trust me" and despite my circumstances, I commit to choosing joy.

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*Footnote - there was a day, when I as a single mom, I had lost everything in my fridge.  The power had gone out and with an already meagerly stocked pantry,  I was left with nothing to feed my children, much less the means to replace it.  God provided for us but it was definitely not easy.  It took me a couple of months to recover financially from it.  Why am I bringing this up?  Because it's easy for us to look at our life circumstances and think it's all crap.  But it's important to see the blessings that we so often overlook.  Having my fridge go out is terribly inconvenient and not what I want to spend money on, but I know it could have been much worse... I've lived it.  And I am grateful that I have, that I can now look at a crummy situation and not take it for granted but instead rejoice in even the smallest of blessings.

We've got some big news to share...

 These past few years have been a wild ride for our family.  We've experienced some incredibly high, highs, and some terribly low lows - but through it all God has been there, by our side, providing for us, comforting us, and guiding us.  And so, it is with great excitement that we take our a huge leap of faith in following Him around the next bend in the road.  God has blessed us with a wonderful job opportunity for John based out of Greensboro, North Carolina.

This July we'll pack up and move 2,600 miles across the country to a land filled with lush green trees, southern hospitality, sweet tea, and plenty of new experiences!  It's a bittersweet transition for our family, but one that we have no doubt God is calling us to. We are excited for John's new job as a commercial electrician, and we certainly look forward to being much, much closer to Sariah & Dylan!

Once everything is on the moving truck, we'll head out of town (early in July) on our adventurous drive across 10 states (Nevada, Utah, into Wyoming, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee & into North Carolina).  It'll be an opportunity to grow as a family, and grow closer to God.  I'm not kidding.  I'm dead serious.  See, I loathe road trips.  I can barely make it through a 2 hour meeting, so 8 hours in the car will teach me to pray and to rely on God for patience, and self-control.  It will also do the same for John as he will need copious amounts of prayer to enact the "for better or for worse" vow he committed to at our wedding.  He'll be likely to put up with whining, constant bathroom breaks, bickering, singing, snoring, and babbling.  And that's just from me... imagine what the kids will do with all that time on their hands!  In fact, just to be safe, we'll be taking time out to recommit our lives to one another in marriage, and proclaim our determination to make it happen with Road Trip Wedding Vows prior to our departure!

Seriously though - we are excited and grateful for the adventure that God's got in store for us this summer, and we covet your prayers for a smooth move, that God would protect us, provide for our needs, and help us find the right home in North Carolina.  We also ask for prayer as we walk through the emotional roller coaster of this.  While we have some exciting things in store for us, it will be hard to leave Nevada.  We've had some wonderful opportunities and developed great friendships here.

Of course, if you live along the route we'll be travelling - let us know - maybe we'll have enough time to stop in and say hello!

Spoiled By Prosperity

As a mom, one of the most valued treasures I have is my washing machine. But you know, sometimes we need to be reminded of how valuable our treasures are. Last week my washing machine died. Just like that. No more clean laundry in our house. So one day this week, I came home from work and loaded up the dirty laundry (and I'm ashamed to say there was a lot of it), bought as many quarters from the kids piggy banks as they had to offer, and packed books and video games and headed to the laundromat with the two kids.

When I got there, I looked around - disoriented, at first trying to gauge the level of cleanliness, where is it safe to sit and where can the kids set their food (yes I did hit the drive through on the way there)? As the kids played with the wheely baskets (I have no idea what they're really called but I do know that the kids sure loved them) I cringed at the thought of all the germs they may have on them. Now let me just take a moment to apologize to anyone who might be reading this who uses a laundromat on a regular basis. Please have patience with me - this is going somewhere,,. I started to load a few machines with clothing and after 3 loads which cost $2 each realized there was no way I had enough money to do all this laundry. I started to panic. I had many more loads, and my quarters were disappearing fast. Fortunately another woman there directed me to the large capacity machines where I could wash a quilt and a small load of clothing. I was actually so stupidly arrogant that I felt the need to explain to her that my washing machine broke and that was why I was there. What an idiot I am. When I saw the look on her face that must have meant "ah... you're one of those people who judge the rest of us here doing our weekly laundry" - I had to take a moment to stop and think about things.

I had a lot of time to think - 3 hours really. While my kids ran circles with the wheely baskets, checking the timers on the machines washing and drying our clothes - my mind raced. I thought about the large numbers of people who must use a laundromat all the time and how expensive, inconvenient, and time consuming it is. I thought about how blessed I was that I could not only do a load of laundry when it suited me, but I only had to spend money for the water and electricity to do so - way less than $2/wash and $1.50 to dry a tiny load. I thought about the vast difference there was in my life and the lives of people around this world. I thought about the wonder and awe somebody from a village in Thailand would experience just being in a laundromat. And the privilege it was to have clean water much less a machine to do to the work, compared to the dirty canals and sewage systems people around the world may use to wash their clothes.

And even with these thoughts running through my head - I caught myself wondering if anyone I knew had seen me as they drove by - and I felt ashamed - at first that I would be seen at a laundromat, but second that I would be such a snob as to even care.

It was somewhere in the midst of this internal battle that I found myself wanting to get to know the maintenance lady who was there washing the floors, cleaning each machine, and emptying the lint traps. She complimented my children's helpful attitudes and good behavior and I had to wonder what her story was. How many children did she see causing trouble or getting in her way? How often does she even get noticed? How did she get this job? Was it her only source of income? Was it fulfilling? Did she enjoy her job? I admired her work ethic and her professionalism. I liked her. I don't know why, but I was drawn to her. She was strong, hard working, and kind. She was an example that I would like to follow.

A few years ago, due to life circumstances, I lost many of my belongings that - most of which had meant a lot to me. And through that loss, I thought I had learned that "it was just stuff" and there is no need to be emotionally attached to it. Yet here I was, sitting in a laundromat, struggling with pride and arrogance when in fact I was privileged to even have a place where I could come wash my families clothes...that we had so many clothes that it cost us $35 in quarters... and that we even had $35 to spend on laundry.

In the midst of a polarized week - one that began with the devastation caused by storms and tornadoes in the south and on the east coast and wrapped up with a royal wedding - I have to take a moment to step back and realize just how spoiled by prosperity we are in this nation. I am ashamed that I could be so arrogant as to think there was something wrong with using a laundromat. I now see just how privileged I am that we could. And I have to say - while it's very humbling to have those moments when God opens your eyes to your own attitude - I don't want to lose it. I want to stay tuned in to the reality of what's going on around me, I want to quit being so caught up in myself.

It's the small things

So in the midst of a crazy season - when I find myself flying down the freeway of life at breakneck speeds - it's then that I realize - it's the little things that matter.

Tonight my 7 year old daughter made her own Barbie Monopoly. Each property was defined by places or things that make sense in her little world. Property #1 - "Hannah Montana Van" - this is her most prized possession. It's big, purple, hideously ugly and by far the most enticing toy she owns. So it makes sense that it would be property #1!

Her other properties included Walmart & Costco (which I believe we spend entirely too much time at), Virginia City (a local town that is by far the biggest tourist attraction to the 'wild west' set), and in place of Broadway and Park Place were the "Swim Center" and "Waterslide".

It could have been so easy to overlook the value of this board game created by 4 1/4 sheets of binder paper all taped, stapled and glued together.

But the star of this story - as much as it may seem like my daughter - is my husband. He is the one who pointed out that this game was a keeper, that this game was a reflection of our 7 year old's little world. And in doing that - he caused me to take a moment to really pay attention, to come up for air, and just take a look at my surroundings. And while it was a small thing - to suggest we keep this made up board game - it was indeed, a very big thing.

Thank You

To those who have kissed their loved ones goodbye, only to wonder if they'll see them again - this side of heaven. To those who have given up hopes and dreams, home and things - to fight for our freedom. To those who have lay in a hospital bed, been bandaged, stitched, broken, not fully mended. To those who have held tight to secrets of fear, intimidation & loneliness in hopes of providing strength for their loved ones thousands of miles away. I say, THANK YOU.

Thank you for protecting my freedom to live my life. My freedom to worship God, my freedom to raise my children. My freedom to work where I choose. My freedom to wear what I wear. My freedom to marry whom I love. My freedom to vote, to think, to speak and to write.

Brent Yamada ● Ed Menezes ● Steve Kincade ● Louis D’Hondt ● Jennifer Abbott ● Ben Abbott ● Josh Nauman ● Nate Shaw ● Rudy Bisson ● Kirt Robinson ● Rudolph Bisson ● Charles Alkula ● Meredith Stringer ● Jason Meyer ● Steve Gardner ● Ryan Lacroix ● Elixabeth Lacroix ● Nathaniel Stamps ● Steve Lochridge ●Jason Noble ● Ron Rogers ● David Dirksen ● Aren Hansen ● Eric Vance ● Claude Johnson ● Tina Johnson ● Mark Kostelecky ● Lydia Woodbury ● Dean Woodbury ● Mark Bowers ● Patrick Cannon ● Pat Ryan ● Don Giard ● Vicki Giard ● Ron Giard ●And Countless Others...

Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for your bravery. Thank you for your selflessness. And a special thanks to your spouses who are a whole other type of veteran!