Within in 5 minutes I had an issue from a person in my life that just makes me want to scream (we all have one or two of these people... some more present in our lives than others), and I chose joy. It wasn't the smoothest morning in our house, but I chose joy. The weather was nasty, after a week of summer, we had rain, snow and dreary skies, but I chose joy. Of course, I was silently asking God to give me the joy, as I certainly wasn't capable of being joyful on my own, and He was faithful to provide it.
At last, it was the most dreaded time of the morning in our house... time to pack lunches, and I chose joy (which is why there was a noticeable difference with my kids and their attitudes). I dutifully began packing their lunches, and as I reached into the fridge for a yogurt, I realized something wasn't right. The yogurt was room temperature. The fridge had gone out! I started to panic.
What do I do? How long ago was it? Is everything spoiled? I don't have time for this, I'm supposed to volunteer in my daughter's class and I have a long awaited lunch date with a friend... whatever am I going to do?In that moment, as I was running down my list of worries and excuses, there was a quiet whisper in the back of my mind, "psst... remember... choose joy". I almost rolled my eyes. "Are you serious? Choose joy?" I nearly protested... after all I had just stocked up on groceries. Last night we just bought a brand new gallon of milk. Seriously?!?! Choosing joy was the last thing on my to-do list in that moment. And yet, I couldn't avoid it. The moment I surrendered to joy, everything became clear. I was able to rearrange my schedule so after dropping the kids of at school I could come home and cook up all the meat in the freezer that was still partially frozen. I started to see what a blessing the timing of this really was:
- It was my day off... had this happened two days ago, it would have caused a nightmare, but today things weren't so bad.
- It's a holiday weekend so I have plenty of time to organize my new shopping list
- My kids won't be home tonight so there's no hurry to get it figured out before school pick-up
- The big garbage can is empty (the idea of rotten food sitting around my house or the alternative of making a run to the dump over something like this were both terrible ideas - so this realization was huge)
- We have a fridge in the garage so no need to run out and buy a new one
- Financially we have the means to replace what we lost - even if it meant we cut something else out in the budget*
- We're moving in 6 weeks - I was already planning to try to put everything in our freezer to use in the next few weeks (which means that now we don't have to eat the nasty trout from last year's fishing derby, nor do I feel guilty for throwing it away)
So... I set to work - throwing everything in the fridge (well except for the apples) out, and most of the "sides" in the freezer. Fortunately very little of the meat had thawed. Well, except for the 2 pounds of bacon we had, but it was still cold so tomorrow morning, my husband may have the best breakfast he's ever had... bacon, bacon and more bacon. All in all - things weren't looking so bad. But I'm convinced it wasn't the circumstances that weren't so bad, it was the joy I'd "chosen" (okay, in this case, maybe I was coerced into choosing) that improve the way I approached it.
Only then did a random thought occur to me. I have been planning to pay off a big medical bill this week...and just like "that" it hit me, maybe they'd negotiate down the bill... so I prayed and then called. And sure enough, they did. The amount they reduced my bill by more than covered the cost of replacing the food we lost.
God could have "swooped down from Heaven" and taken care of all this. If He can give Moses the power to part a stinkin' sea... He surely has the power to have wiped away that medical bill, or keep our fridge from going out. but instead, He chose to a) meet our needs and b) make it evident that He was meeting our needs. I know I'm guilty of expecting Him to just miraculously make difficult situations disappear, but today, I am reminded that if He were to do that, we'd miss out on the opportunity to see just how much He cares about the most minute details of our lives. We wouldn't be able to fully understand his glory or the meaning of Ephesians 3:20.
So as our family is in the midst of a major season of trusting Him and walking by faith - today, I have had the honor of witnessing just what my loving God has been promising me all along "I've got this, I've got it all covered, just trust me" and despite my circumstances, I commit to choosing joy.
*Footnote - there was a day, when I as a single mom, I had lost everything in my fridge. The power had gone out and with an already meagerly stocked pantry, I was left with nothing to feed my children, much less the means to replace it. God provided for us but it was definitely not easy. It took me a couple of months to recover financially from it. Why am I bringing this up? Because it's easy for us to look at our life circumstances and think it's all crap. But it's important to see the blessings that we so often overlook. Having my fridge go out is terribly inconvenient and not what I want to spend money on, but I know it could have been much worse... I've lived it. And I am grateful that I have, that I can now look at a crummy situation and not take it for granted but instead rejoice in even the smallest of blessings.
