Despite my husband having waited in the snow for 3 hours to get in - we couldn't get seats - we found ourselves drowning in a sea of people who were anything but loving. As I fought back tears (having had my kids separated from me over and over, and then nearly trampled by the crowds), I thought to myself, "This is why people hate Christians, and therefor hate God". And it broke my heart. But more than that, it infuriated me. I didn't want to be stuck inside a building with 20,000 + people who afterward were going to go out to their church vans and fill the streets with their same aggressive, self righteous behavior. I didn't want be anywhere near these people who cared more about getting to do what they wanted - than they cared about their neighbor who is alone, and hurting. I was embarrassed for Jesus. To be honest, I was ashamed to be a part of this "religion", and I just wanted to go home.
Now, I'm not saying these people were evil, or that they were even malicious. In fact, that's what bothered me most. I found myself in a sea of thousands of people who were so comfortable in their tunnel vision for a seat at this concert, that they'd simply forgotten about love.
I found myself reeling in the understanding that the Christians are ruining the gospel message by being more focused on their own agendas. See, for the first time, in a long time, I caught a glimpse of an "outsider's" perspective of the church: A bunch of people who really seem like they might be okay, until you have to interact with them.
The message we, as believers in Christ, have to share is much too precious & valuable to let ourselves get caught up in "us". We cannot allow our own lives to eclipse God. But unfortunately all too often, we do. We get our hearts set on something, or we lose focus of what's really important, and we show our ugly side without realizing it, or worse yet - we often justify our ugly behavior. We trample other peoples needs, just as tonight my four children were trampled in that crowd, and in doing so, we tarnish God's reputation.
Tonight, I realized just how many roadblocks we, the church put up - roadblocks that keep people from knowing the love and grace that Jesus died to extend to us. I'll be honest, I am not immune to this self-righteous behavior. I too have been more effective at establishing roadblocks than in being an accurate image of Christ. I have cast judgement on others, I have opened my mouth and inserted my foot, and I have been "too busy" to take time to see the person I just trampled with words, or inattentiveness, or plain old ambivalence.
So in closing, I am challenged (and I encourage you to join me), to ask God to reveal in me - "Where am I trampling someone else? Where am I too busy being me, to be a reflection of You? Where am I, as a Christian ruining it for those who don't know you?" And if you're someone who I have trampled, or I have had tunnel vision and failed to see your need - please, tell me. Give me the opportunity to learn but also (and probably more importantly) to be forgiven. From here on out, may I be intentional about wanting to Live Like That, and asking God and myself, "Am I proof, that you are who you say you are,that grace can really change a heart? Do I live like your love is true?".
P.S.
We did finally get seats (it took speaking to 7 different "official" people before "official" person # 8 finally came and escorted us to seats) - and we were able to enjoy an awesome concert.
